Will I ever understand

Will I ever understand.

now I am alone

with no-one,

wondering where I went wrong

obsession, my only companion,

as I long for the

warm embrace and

crisp sensation associated with

another.

Fluttering behind the bars,

wanting to be free, to soar.

Pulsating for the urge of excitement,

hunger.

So many that are happy

when I lack the experience to define it,

so many that smile

when I forget how.

I gaze at the world

passing by;

fingers intertwined

lips tied

people left breathless.

Where is it?

My breath,

Gone.

Wondering where I went wrong.

Trickling down my fingertips

i feel warm

finally

chest not rising

I feel breathless

finally

the bird no longer fluttering

I feel at peace

finally

I understand one thing now,

lights interrupt the serenate of the darkness that has become my reality

sounds penetrate the silence that has become the soundtrack to my life

vibrations create a sensation, where I so comfortably felt nothing

for so long,

now,

cries, someone cries for me

I understand one thing now,

I went wrong,

where?

I gave up.

-Lapan